GROOMS WANTED

An Indian marriage?- WHOA ; the opulence, the excitement and the trappings that goes with the ceremony is to be seen and experienced to be believed. Well, the butterflies in the stomach start way before the ceremony itself, which is groom hunting. Finding a groom is a tedious and energy-draining activity, albeit with a whole lot of excitement, not only for the would-be bride, but for the whole family upto second cousins.

First cousin: “Hey do you know that they are on the lookout for a boy for Pinky?”

Second cousin: “Oh so cute! No?”

Along with the anxiety, groom hunting has a tinge of sweet agony. Well you see, a groom has to fulfill a lot of requirements and expectations, as it were. A suitable groom is finally chosen out of the innumerable prospective ones short listed from even more prospective grooms. And mother will choose the best - the I-Know-It-All-Mother. Yes, mothers know what is best for their brood, don't they? Some things never change, do they?

Sample this.

Fathers friend to bride's mother: “Didi, (meaning sister in Hindi) Pinky is all grown up now. Oh! How quickly girls grow up nowadays. Are you keeping a look out for a nice suitable boy? Eh?”

Mother: "Yeees. What does a mother want for her daughter anyway? One just wants her child to be happy and settled in life isn’t it? Who would want more than a good boy who can stand on his own feet?”

Bride’s third brother: “Hey Mom the boy whose photograph we saw yesterday has feet.”

Father to Bride’s first brother: “That’s great, here is Rupees 2000. Get some Kentucky fried chicken and lets celebrate.”

Mother: "What about that boy with a funny name - F-L-T L-T something?”

Third brother: "Aw mom …. It is not his name. Its short for Flight Lieutenant in the Air Force.”

Mother: "I don’t care what he is and where he is, all I pray to the Lord Almighty is that he shouldn’t drink, smoke and gamble. I want my child to be happy that’s all.”

Second brother: "Mom will your expectations ever end?”

Mother: "You won’t understand my son. One has to be careful while selecting a boy. By the way, how are the in-laws?”

Third brother: "Its better to be out-laws; at least you will be WANTED.”

Second brother: "Aw shut up, will you?”

[The would-be groom (Flt Lt) has been chosen and during next family discussions.]

Father to Mother: "Honey, now what? What is the problem? Doesn’t the boy meet your expectations?”

Mother: "Yeaaah he is good, but….”

Father: "But what?”

Mother: "HE DOESN’T TALK TO ME.”

Father to first son: "YEAH? Hey! what happened to the Rupees 2000 I had given you for ordering chicken?”

First son: "Dad, I was saving it up for today. Lets celebrate, shall we?”

Father: "Forget it! And give me back the money.”
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Ciao.