Resignation vs Resume

Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full
frontal lobotomy, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I
have a few parting points.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give
me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to
comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years
to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every
password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I
am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when
you made me "back up" your useless files. I believe that terms like "Lolita"
are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your
mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures
of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the
techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd
acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and
kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of
recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct
your damn mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on
my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow, not ONE minute later. One word of this to
anybody and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to
the public. Never freak with your systems administrators, because they know
what you do with all your free time.

Sincerely,

Resignation Letter (contd)

This is a continuation of the previous post.

Your shiny new iMac has more personality than YOU ever will. You walk around
the building all day, shiftlessly looking for faults in others.

You have a useless look about you, that may have worked for
in your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it
off on an overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring
ineptitude.

In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae
that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of
the Dilbert principle.

Resignation Letter

There are many tips on how to write resumes. But how about this for a Wonky
resignation letter...

(An actual letter sent by a fed up U.S employee in Port Huncliff, New England)

Mr. Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic
expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superior shares an
intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel.

After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself, and my
co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you
are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of
everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a
waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I
know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself
and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept
of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary
still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people
hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure
this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.

(To be continued.........................................)

Butterflies in the Belly

I have an exam coming up and am busy cramming. See you as soon as the exam is over.


Ciao

Marriage Bow Wow

Five steps to a PEACEFUL Marriage

Hear everything your spouse says. LISTEN to only what YOU want to hear. Its called selective deafness.

When your spouse is whining and complaining about the bad day he/she is having, don't go - "Omigosh, How sweet?" Sympathize by cribbing and complaining - RESONANCE.

If your partner's talking about your dog's stupid tantrums - talk about your dream vacation to an exotic location together. Nobody said you HAVE to go there. Did they?

Fight for the morning newspaper on a daily basis? Subscribe for TWO. Newspapers cost peanuts.

You get a call at the office with a complaint - "Oh what a bad day I'm having!". Listen up and then YOU HAVE A MEETING WITH A HIGH LEVEL DELEGATION. Time has resolved many an issue.

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE DON'T FIGHT. SOMEONE'S BOUND TO GET HURT.

Ciao WonkyMonk

Wonky Connection

Uh huh! Just when I want to post something interesting, the broadband connection is acting up. Murphy's Law I guess.

I guess I will have to do it tommorow. I dont want to lose the connection in the middle of uploading stuff.

Ciao. Wonky Monk.

I think, so I am.

"Aaghh! Uh-huh! Not agaaaiiin man!" you say.

You are right. This stuff has been said before and read before.

"Give me something new". I hear you say that.

There's no escape from this. We need to face the fact that life revolves around our mind and thoughts. Here's some fresh stuff! It might change your life. Read on.

• You can only have things that are in harmony with your thoughts.

• A man is what he thinks about all day long.

• I am now, and my life is everything I am undertaking.

• Change your thoughts and change your life.

• No one is superior to what you might become.

• As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.

Wonky Pics

Digg these pics. Need no words!

Right or Left?

Most drivers, especially international travelers, face this dilemma sometime or the other. Right or Left? Two thirds of the world's traffic keeps to the right of the road and remaining left. Sea vessels by convention keep to the right of an oncoming vessel. I am not sure what is followed for air traffic. Tee Hee!

Here are some interesting facts from around the world. If you have any other interesting facts please leave as comments and I will add it as a post. Thanks.

• Most Commonwealth countries keep left
  

• Indian drivers are famous for using both lanes as per convenience and also to take short cuts. Those using the wrong lane, will even honk at you and make you feel as if you are the culprit
  

• Till about 1920, motorists in Italy drove on the left in Turin and Milan but had to switch to the right when entering Rome and Naples
  

• Drivers in Falkland Islands started to keep right after Argentina invaded the country in 1982 and two months later, had to revert back to left when the British retook the islands
  

• In Myanmar motorists use the left lane with cars from Japan that have steering on the left, meant for driving on the right. They complain of not seeing the road ahead
  

• Guys in the Himalayan country of Nepal use whichever side is free
  

• Drivers in Thailand use middle of the road
  

• Maltese are famous for using the shady side of the road
  

• Kenyans use the side with the least potholes

Driving and Mobiles

In India, the New Delhi Traffic police carries out Drive Safely drives (pun unintended) every now and then. In spurts and bursts like a sinusoidal wave. Some funny things happen during these drives. A few weeks ago a woman was held for speaking on her mobile in the car. She, however, was sitting in the rear seat. The police insisted - No mobiles while driving and that’s that. It took a lot of convincing the police to let the woman go.

From now on, British drivers could be charged with manslaughter if they are found using their mobiles while driving, The Sun said. This move has been welcomed by The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents, calling it a tough but a good stance.

Seriously, the world needs strict and proper road rules and more importantly implementation of these rules. Happy and safe driving!

Ciao Wonkymonk

Groom your Vegatables

We've heard of animals becoming vegetables. Vegetables turning into animals? Sample these photos. If you like them, please leave your comments and email it your friends.

PageToken Error?

Do you use Google Blogger? Are you getting PageToken Error display when inserting HTML/Javascript codes? I found out a way around this glitch and I must share it with all. That's the general idea of blogging, isn't it? I know this post will not cater for all bloggers, but only for Blogger users. Really sorry.

1. Close your browser and start again. No joy?
2. Don’t sign in on the first login page on Blogger(http://www.blogger.com/start). Sign in without entering your password and id.
   Enter your details in the next page(http://www.blogger.com/login). This usually solves the problem.
3. Clear cookies. (Carefull. But you may lose all your precious settings and pages will load slower.)
4. Use a different browser, like Mozilla or Firefox. I had success with Mozilla and pages loaded faster than in IE. This works.

Ciao Wonky Monk

SEO

Howwzzatt for Search Engine Optimization
visualization techniques?






Wonder what Google Adsense will have to say about this?

Lateral Thinking

Most of us adults, fall into the trap of following a strict regimen, schedule. A routine, so to say. Don’t we? A pattern sets in, in the physical and the mental realm. That’s okay for the body. Things like going to bed, waking up on time and regulating eating habits are good. But what about our minds? Do they think like this?

When it comes to the thinking pattern the average person thinks in the same way, day after day. The same trodden path! The comfort zone.

Imagine you are asked to arrange your work table all over everyday. How would you do it? Think about it. Most of us would tend to replace all things in the same way as before. Similarly our minds tend to get into a rut. We don’t realize that there are better ways of doing the things we do, day in and day out.

We need to awaken our lateral thinking. Go beyond the conditional judgment and belief system. We need to think in unique ways and take detours, if need be.

Phew, was that heavy? Hmmmm.

Ciao. WonkyMonk.

Painting

Painting by my 4 year old daughter in Windows Paint.